Well helloooooo there Kinkermaniacs and welcome to the end of this epic Kinker Korner. FINAL ROUND…..FIGHT!.
9. Out Of Her Head: From-Alias: 2004
In the brilliant “Alias” by Brian Michael Bendis, Jessica Jones is an ex superhero trying to get on with he life but is haunted by her past. That past includes being mentally raped for months by The Purple Man, a villain who had previously been a bit of a laughing stock. Ol’ purple can make you do whatever he wants through mind control see and the things he made Jessica do…..were not pleasant. I don’t want to go too much into it as the true horror is there to be read and I don’t want to ruin the horrifying shock of finding out. At the end of the series Jean Grey has created a mental block for Jess so she can be immune to Purple Man’s tricks. This leads to one of the most rewarding punches in the face ever as she finally overcomes her tormentor and nails him square in the coupon. She then goes on to tell her boyfriend Luke Cage that she’s pregnant with his baby fearing that he’ll leave her. It goes a little better than she expected.
8: And Then….: From- New Avengers: 2005
Jessica’s husband, my boyyyyyy Luke Cage comes face to face with our friend Purple Man in the pages of the New Avengers. This was also written by Bendis so you know he had a lot of fun with this scene. As you can see above, Purple Man smugly tries to get Luke to bend to his will but he’s been drugged so his powers don’t function. So Luke, with all the fury of a fella whose loved one has been abused beyond belief dishes out a beautiful amount of righteous justice. Sweet sweet violence at it’s most delicious.
7. Raiding The Top Shelf: From- Moon Knight: 2014
Warren Ellis, the excellent writer of this issue outright explained his influence as being the Indonesian martial arts action epic “The Raid” and what a lovely homage it is. The whole issue is basically a massive fight up several floors of a derelict building where a young girl is being held captive. Artist Declan Shalvey is the star of the show as his visuals jump off the page and smack you square in the face with their brutality. Vicious and aesthetically pleasing as it gets for fight fans.
6. The Thrill Of The Hunt: From- Spider-Man: 1987
The story that took the top spot of my top Spidey stories makes another appearance in Kinker Korner. Let’s be honest, any reason to bring this story up is a good one as I could wax lyrical about it’s greatness for a long long time. We’re only talking about the fight that ends with Spidey laying in his own grave while Kraven The Hunter ponces around in his outfit pretending to be the web-slinger. See Kraven was always a big of a comedy punching bag in the pages of Marvel comics until this story in which he has hunted and defeated every prey known to man and sets his sights on something that nobody had ever conquered…..Spider-Man. He miraculously manages to track him down, take him out and give him a dirt nap…..of course Spidey somehow survives and reclaims his mantle with Kraven following his parent’s footsteps now he has achieved all his goals and takes his own life. A stunning piece of work from J.M Dematteis and a host of artists, an absolute must for any fans of the wall crawler.
4. You Found Me: From- The Boys: 2012
I don’t know how Garth Ennis did it….I really don’t. Yes as expected it was an insanely violent and vulgar series with plenty of pitch black humour and anti superhero themes but the ending was so brutally emotional as I’d become so attached to the characters as I’d been with it since the start. Admittedly the series did go on too long and the story could have been wrapped up 20 issues earlier but nonetheless it was an epic story that had me hooked from the start. The fight….that’s what we’re talking about her though right?. It’s Butcher vs the rest of The Boys and it’s far too long winded to go into specifics but let me try to be brief. Butcher is the leader of The Boys, a group of normal humans who inject a serum that gives them super strength and they watch for registered superheroes who get out of hand…..and boy do they get out of hand!. Crazy orgies, murder sprees, the works and The Boys step in and take them out when that happens. Nearly 70 issues in we find out what we all thought might be possible but really hoped wouldn’t be…..Butcher is planning a cataclysmic event that will wipe out anyone with anything super in their bodies, including themselves. The rest of The Boys beg him to stop and see sense but Butcher is too far gone and ends up killing Mother’s Milk by grenade and smothering while telling him how much he likes him. Then he blows up the lovable Frenchie and Female as they have a beautiful moment together and then comes the battle against the everyman Wee hughie. I won’t spoil what happens but the battle over a few issues between all of the team is heartbreaking. This leads to one of the sweetest endings in the history of comics which is almost unthinkable after the journey we’ve been on throughout the series. Garth Ennis’ best work outside of The Punisher…..yes I include Preacher in there….it’s that good.
3. TETSUUUUUO….KAAAAANEDAAAA: From: AKIRA- 1989
One of the greatest and mind blowing stories ever told, AKIRA has so many great moments and fights but the final battle between childhood friends Kaneda and Tetsuo is heartbreakingly epic. Most people will no doubt be far more familiar with the brilliant movie that the manga series inspired and that was where my love of it began as a child catching it late night on channel 4. As amazing as the animation and art was in the movie, the comic was equally stunning and immaculately pencilled. The battle happens near the end where Tetsuo, drunk with his new super powers, easily defends his friend Kaneda’s attacks. After a while of fighting Kaneda and the air force….the army….and all sorts of others who are trying to stop Neo Tokyo from being destroyed but his mutations go out of control and he turns into a giant gooey fetus. It’s mental, it involves Tetsuo flying to space to stop a satellite attack, Tetsuo absorbing his old friends and kills them, a mechanical weapon arm and all sorts of imaginative insanity. The fact that this is a wee boy that is the antagonist purely due to government types trying to control him and losing control is so sad and the endless effort of Kaneda to fight and save his friend at the same time just tugs at the heart. I can’t say enough goo things about this series and the final battle is a thing of absolute beauty in more ways that one.
2. HEEEYYY BARRACUDA AYE: From- The Punisher: 2007
Oh Barracuda you lovable, psychopathic, no f@#k giving gangsta you really did raise the bar for villains in the mainstream comic world. When he arrived in the pages of Garth Ennis’ character defining Punisher Max series he lit the pages on fire with aggressive, funny, brutal antics and biting hood talk. He really is a massive stereotype personified as he’s basically a 90s gangsta rap album come to life and everything that white America fears is lurking in the ghettos near them. Anyway in this long and hugely entertaining battle they just pulverise the absolute crap out of each other in a various amount of creative ways. The fight is really a two parter, played out over two separate arcs with space in between but I’m counting it as one battle as it’s the same storyline and connected closely. The latter part of the fight sees Barracuda kidnapping a baby and trying to draw Punisher out for a rematch……..it doesn’t go well for him. He sure gets his licks in but ends up having his balls hooked up to a car battery and Frank cranking it so much he empties his bowels. Unbelievably he still keeps going….he’s pretty much brain dead but he still keeps going which is part of what makes him such a great villain. He’s like a superhero of the villains world if that makes sense…..see he just doesn’t give up and will fight through anything. He’s just so damn tough but old Frankie wins through and ends up blowing our new friend’s head off…..a sad finality to a character that came and went so quickly but left such an impression that he got his own prequel miniseries. Perfect Punisher fun.
- Up On The Roof: From- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles- 1986
In the early days of Mirage Comics’ turtles series it was an underground smash that launched an anthropomorphic boom in the indie comic world. Such was the success of the first few episodes that the 4 main characters got an issue each to focus on their individual personalities separately given that the black and white pages made them all look alike. This was before the cartoon made the franchise a worldwide smash so little was known of the different Turtles. For instance, Mikey is the fun loving sweetheart of the family, Donnie is the brainy nerd, Raphael is the hot headed muscle. Then there’s Leonardo who is the leader, the one who keeps the family together when things are tough. The one who will fight and fight and never give up no matter the odds. This fight runs for the entire issue as the Foot Clan chase Leo over the rooftops of Manhattan while the rest of the family prepare for xmas, putting up decorations and having fun. It’s great how half of the panels focus on the festivities and fun the family are having while the the next panel will have Leo desperately running or fighting off hordes of Foot Clan. When he eventually escapees and crashes into April’s home the family run to help him and in one fell swoop we learn about the family as a whole and in particular Leo’s strength.It’s epic, inventive and done on a micro budget using pencils and imaginations in a cramped flat from a small group of guys trying to live the dream. It worked.
We are done and all the violence can end…..for now. Thanks again to my good friend Scotty Farquharson for picking this topic so drop your suggestions to me here or @swing_kinker. ……..and congratulations on the new arrival Scotty boy. Love ye. x