KINKER KORNER’S TOP 30 VIDEO GAMES OF 2006 NSFW

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Ok we’re into the second half of the decade now. Let’s see where it takes us.

 

30. Black-Playstation 2

An ultra stylish, cinematic fps that doesn’t have much more to it than that but it’s all it really needs. For it’s time it was utterly stunning and in terms of graphical output it was one of the most impressive console games of it’s time. It’s played at breakneck speed and the action is constantly pushing forward and bombarding you. It’s exciting if basic stuff.

 

29. Time Crisis 4-Arcade/Playstation 3

You know I gots love for dem light gun games. Ain’t gon’ give up on dem and ting. Sorry I’m tired and have no idea what I’m going on about. It’s more brilliant Namco arcade fun, especially in two player mode with you and a bud taking out bad guys.

 

28.Family Guy Video Game-Playstation 2

I don’t know why this game doesn’t get talked about more in terms of laugh out loud funny games. It was by no means a masterpiece but it was really funny and came out at a time where the show was arguably at it’s peak. From Peter trying to kill Mr Belvadere and punching/kicking his way through a town filled with children and old women after taking a knock on the head to Brian trying to clear his name to Stewie trying to kill his twin brother, it’s just simple, fun stuff that captures the show pretty well.

 

27. Yoshi’s Island DS-DS

The sequel to Yoshi’s Island on the SNES offers up more colourful, cutesy, clever platforming fun. Instead of just having little baby Mario and baby Luigi to annoy you on your journey this time, you’re joined by baby Donkey Kong, baby Peach, baby Wario and baby Bowser. A solid entry into the Mario catalogue.

 

26. Marvel: Ultimate Alliance-Playstation 3

I believe this is the first proper playstation 3 entry on the lists…welcome to the party and we’ll be seeing a lot lot more of you in the near future. This series was pretty much the follow up to the X-Men Legends games and they play out the same but with a much biggest cast of characters as it takes place over the entire Marvel Universe. That means we get playable characters like Ghost Rider, Deadpool, Elektra, Luke Cage and loads more.

 

25. Fight Night Round 3-Xbox 360

The Fight Night series, much like most sports series is pretty much the same every time it releases a new game with a couple of wee changes, a graphical upgrade and a different roster. This one includes boxers like Manny Pacquiao, Bernard Hopkins, Roberto Duran, Sugar Ray Leonard, Marvin Hagler, Ali, Frazier and loads more.

 

24. Rule Of Rose-Playstation 2

This weird little game has gained something of a cult following over the years for it’s disturbing themes and conversation starting, interpretative plot. You play a young woman who somehow becomes stuck in a world run by little girls and things spiral into insanity as the psychological horror is ramped up big time. It courted a lot of controversy because of the sexual undertones of some of the wee girls but that’s kind of the point I guess…it’s meant to be horrible and confusing in this disturbing world of hierarchies run by children. Many called for it to banned as was often the case for games back in the day so next time some idiot on twitter tells you “oh everyone wants to ban everything today, this wouldn’t happen in my youth” tell them to do one because it happened constantly. Artists have MUCH more creative freedom today then they did in my youth.

 

23.Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories-PSP

After the monstrous success of the last few GTA games, Rockstar decided to give Sony’s handheld PSP a go. It turned out to be a lot of fun going back to Vice City and let’s not dance around it any longer….yes this is the one that has Phil Collins as himself in a guest role so there’s that. A fantastic soundtrack plays over a variety of genre based radio stations as usual for the series which is great. Songs from the likes of Rick Springfield, Pat Benatar, Dio, Scorpions, Marvin Gaye, Rick James and tonnes more help that 80s aesthetic.

 

22. KOF: Maximum Impact 2-2006

Often when long established 2d fighting games wander into the 3d realm it doesn’t work out so well but The King Of Fighters pulled it off pretty damn well. Loads of playable characters from the series like Mai, Terry, Ryo, Kyo, Iori, Billy Kane and loads make for good replay value. A very solid entry into a legendary series and one that far passes it’s predecessor.

 

21. Prey-Xbox 360

A first person horror game that recently got a decent reboot. You play a Cherokee character which is pretty cool and I’d like to see more of them used as protagonists and you’re abducted  with your loved ones aboard an alien space ship. You native roots let you use powers involving the spirits in a cliched but enjoyable twist on the genre. The graphics were cracking and the atmosphere was incredibly tense leading to a memorable and nerve shredding horror game.

 

20. Canis Canem Edit a,k,a Bully-Playstation 2

Known as Bully in most places, the name got changed here because it was deemed to violent on the back of the Manhunt scandal etc. It’s Rockstar again and this time they take on school life with their typical cast of sociopathic characters. You play a troubled kid who arrives at a private boarding school and finds it’s filled with bullies of all types and gangs of cliches like greasers and upper crust elitists. It’s fun stuff and raising your status at the school whole participating in classes as well is unique and adds lots of different game styles to the game.

 

19. Elite Beat Agents-DS

Hot damn what a blast this rhythm game is. I played this loads on the DS and the use of the stylus to get the timing right tapping and sliding it across the screen is a genius touch. The visuals are great with a comic book aesthetic and a smooth group of characters driving the plot, for what it is, forward. The songs are great too which is obviously a must for these games. 

 

18. Call Of Cthulhu: Dark Corners Of The Earth-PC

I always have a spot for the underdog and this game went by completely unnoticed, was a commercial disaster and had loads of flaws. That said, I still really enjoyed it and there are so many areas they got right. The atmosphere is cracking, the source material of H.P Lovecraft’s work is respected and carefully brought to the screen and it’s genuinely creepy. It’s bloody hard though and not everyone will get the same amount of enjoyment out of it that I did but I’m just giving you my thoughts.

 

17. Resistance: Fall Of Man-Playstation 3

I owned an Xbox 360 for a while before I sold it and got a Playstation 3 instead because I much preferred the slate of exclusives Sony had. So when I bought my ps3 a few years into it’s cycle I got all of the exclusives I could and this little gem was one of them. An old school, difficult first person shooter with no cover system, just loads of aliens charging you and bumming your gob. I played this in co op with my wee bro and I think that’s the best way to play it. The setting of rural England in 1951 is unusual and brilliant as it’s usually the big cities that get all the play. A group of unprepared and terrified soldiers must stop the chimera, a violent race of aliens from taking over Earth.

 

16. Onimusha: Dawn Of Dreams-Playstation 2

A new entry into the excellent Oni series and a completely new story and a reveamped control style that really helps the action to be more manageable. It’s always fun to samurai slash your way through an evil demon army and the graphics are upgraded from the already impressive previous games. No Jean Reno this time which is probably a good thing….it was a fun gimmick but one game was enough.

 

15. Sam And Max Save The World-PC

Telltale Games took over production on the Sam And Max series and released it in episodic format which would become their trademark in the following years. The film noir inspired duo are off on another adventure, solving crimes and mysteries like a hypnosis conspiracy. The wise cracking dog and the maniacal bunny thingy always make for laughs and the writing is as sharp as ever.

 

14. Hitman:Blood Money-PC

I think the thing that connects with fans of this game and the Hitman series is the freedom to play the game you want to. There are a myriad of ways for you, as Agent 42, to take out your contracted victim. Go in all guns blazing? poison his/her drink?, tamper with a chandelier so it falls on them during a dinner party?. Just a couple of ways you can take out your victims. There is a demented joy in knocking out a postie, putting on his clothes and delivering a bullet to the head as an unsuspecting victim opens the door expecting a package.

 

13. Dead Rising-Xbox 360

A killer app for the early days of the Xbox 360 and one that my buds Rick and Steve used to bang on about all the time. This game introduced us to Frank West, a journalist and photographer who gets trapped in a shopping centre during a zombie outbreak. Heavily inspired by George A. Romero’s Dawn Of The Dead, it has a load of humour to go along with the splatterpunk gore and viscera. Going into a clothes shop, putting on ill fitting stripper clothes and smashing up zombies with a cricket bat is loads of fun.

 

12. New Super Mario Bros.-DS

Mario games have always done well on Nintendo’s handheld systems. The Mario Land games on the Gameboy were classics a the GBA brought us handheld versions of established classics. Here the DS continues the trend with a colourful, fun game with all the tight platforming action you’d expect from the hugely popular series. Addictive as all hell and with typically catchy music.

 

 

11. Lego Star Wars 2: The Original Trilogy-Xbox 360

Who would have thought a lego game aimed at kids would be so much fun for adults?. Or at least adults who are pretty much kids on the inside. I’ve grown a little apathetic to the Star Wars world these days with the complete over saturation of the franchise over the years but this game took me back to the feeling I had as a kid when I was obsessed with the original trilogy. Playing through the films but in lego form is a bizarre but strangely comforting experience, especially in co op.

 

10. The Elder Scrolls IV:Oblivion-PC/Xbox 360

Look….I know this is considered one of the greatest games of all time and should be much higher but like with many all time classics I just haven’t played it enough to justify that. I’ve mentioned before that I went through a pretty casual gaming phase in the mid 00s because of my band always gigging and not having much time so I didn’t play this until way after. By that time I’d played Skyrim, Fallout 3 etc so it wasn’t such a revolutionary experience that it would have been had I played it in 2006. That said, the expansive landscape and thousands of quests still made an impression on me obviously or it wouldn’t be this high. Coming out of the sewers and into the gorgeous open world at the beginning was a joy.

 

9. God Hand-Playstation 2

A beat em up directed by Shinji Mikami? Yes please. It’s such a shame that this game bombed and only has a cult following. It’s a large cult following but nonetheless it was perhaps too weird for mass acceptance. Oh well, for those who did play through it no doubt fell in love with it’s quirk sensibilities. The combo system was deep and at times complicated with rhythm and time based action overtaking the genre’s usual button mashing style. One of the bosses is a gorilla who gets off a bus, sits down and reads a paper before noticing you. It’s nuts.

 

8. Broken Sword: The Angel Of Death-PC

It’s always good to be able to play as George Stobbart and this fourth Broken Sword games continues the trend of clever puzzles and sharp writing. I still wish they had kept the beautifully painted art rather than the 3d environments. As always, it’s a nice mix of funny, witty dialogue and a more serious plot as you search for hidden treasure set after the last game.

 

7. LocoRoco-PSP

For the short time I owned a PSP this was the game I played most. Yup….this cutesy, kiddy looking experience was completely hypnotic and charming to me. You tilt the psp left and right to direct these little blobs around with the goal of merging together to create a giant blob…..thing. It’s hard to explain but it’s utterly brilliant The music is a highlight too and I still find myself humming along to the gibberish made up language they sing in.

 

6. Forbidden Siren-Playstation 2

The criminally underrated Siren series is back with a more player friendly game after hearing the complaints of the first game. The first Forbidden Siren was excellent but some of the puzzles…..hoooo boy were they esoteric?. More importantly though….is it scary?. Why yes, yes it is and some of the enemy this time are utterly demented in the best way. Seeing a giant face on a girl’s stomach is not a sight I will be forgetting any time soon. Sight jacking is back in which you can see through the eyes of the enemy closest to you, helping you decide whether to hide or not. You play as several characters again and while there aren’t as many likeable ones as there was in the first one. It’s an absolute must for fans of survival horror.

 

5. Gears OF War-Xbox 360

The most manly, man meat, manny, man filled, beefed up, steroid fueled, bullet soaked, gory, violent, sweary man, manly man man man, man meat game of all time? Very possibly. So manly it’s homoerotic, this third person shooter popularised the cover system and was a real killer app for the Xbox 360 as an exclusive to the console. You are part of a group of troops who are up against an alien invasion and launch a last ditch, desperate attempt to fight back and save the planet from obliteration. It’s popularity would go on to lead the Gears Of War franchise to massive success. 

 

4. Shin Megami Tensai: Persona 3-Playstation 2

A brilliant and bizarre JRPG in which you balance daily school life in a social sim with an alternate reality where you fight demons and try to right wrongs of the world. The dark hour is a time between one day and the next that very few people know about and those who are able to see it can investigate it using their personas. A persona is a manifestation of the mind that can be summoned by shooting yourself in the head with a special gun…..I am rambling s much bloody nonsense I don’t even know what I’m talking about. I played it for tens of hours and I’ve no idea what I’m on about. It’s great, put it that way.

 

3. Virtua Fighter 5-Playstation 3

If you’ve been on this journey with me since I started the 1990 list then you’ll have seen every entry in the main Virtua Fighter series making my lists as I’ve blabbed on about my connection to it emotionally. This one is up there with VF2 for me in terms of time spent with it and quality. It’s smooth, looks great and has a decent roster of varying fighters with different fighting styles. A really enjoyable game and part of a series I completely love.

 

2. Okami-Playstation 2/Wii

One of the most beautiful games ever made and it’s never been truly appreciated by the masses. Isn’t that always the case?. A mix of Japanese myths, legends and history about the sun god Amatarasu the wolf saving the land from darkness. The real gimmick of the game is the brush stroke effect used in combat in which you use the analogue stick to paint around an enemy and a colour explosion would be your weapon. The whole world looks like a wonderful painting and with two hd remakes over the last two generations being released let’s hope it finally gets it’s due.

 

1. Yakuza 2-Playstation 2

I talked on the last list about my undying love for the Yakuza series and here we a sequel that improved upon the already great game. The fighting system got an upgrade, the loading times weren’t as infuriating and the overall presentation was slicker. It’s another deep story that twists and turns all over the place with loads of memorable characters and of course playing as Kazuma Kiryu is always a treat. One of my favourite series of all time and it continues to be amazing to this day.

 

Cheers for reading. Let me know what you think. Catch me @swing_kinker ta x.

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