KINKER KORNER’S TOP 35 VIDEO GAMES OF 2005 NSFW

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Half way into the 00s and we’re still going strong. Let’s kick on shall we?.

 

35.Mortal Kombat: Shaolin Monks-Playstation 2

Mortal Kombat had tried to deviate from the main series before with games like Special Forces and Mythologies but they were both shite. This beat em up however was surprisingly fun as you take control of Liu Kang and Kung Lao as they try to stop Shang Tsung from taking over Earthrealm. Many MK characters turn up as bosses and allies and it’s just a simple, fun beat em up.

 

34. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith-Playstation 2

This game had no right to be as entertaining as it was.It’s short, it’s simple, it follows the movie’s plot almost to a tee but the gameplay is so much fun that it doesn’t matter that it just whips by in no time. One of those rare occasions where a seemingly rushed cash in somehow managed to work really well. The movie was by far the best of the prequels too so it had a decent source material to start from.

 

33. Fahrenheit-Playstation 2

The games of David Cage and his Quantic Dream development team are incredibly divisive with some thinking it’s pretentious, boring, non interactive b-movie guff and others feeling them to be immersive, engaging and full of interesting plot points and deviations. I’m mainly the latter half of the equation and while I recognise the many….many flaws in his games I still get a kick out of them. This one sees you commit a murder while seemingly being possessed and having to evade police. You also play detectives trying to figure out what’s going on so the the characters and plot twists and criss crosses between all the playable characters. The intro is one of the most memorable in gaming.

 

32. Fist Of The North Star-Playstation 2

A port of the under the radar 2d fighting game based on the manga that spawned a franchise. The characters and backgrounds are well drawn and it has a kind of Guilty Gear vibe which is great and not entirely surprising as it’s made by Arc Systems. I love the manga and the original movie so I consider myself a fan of the franchise for the most part so it was cool to get a good game out of it.

 

31. Mario And Luigi: Partners In Time-DS

We’re into Nintendo DS territory for the first time now and you’ll be seeing more games from this innovative wee handheld as we go on through the years. This one continues the series of Mario rpg games and is the second in the Mario And Luigi series.   You travel between the past on present solving puzzles and trying to save the abducted Princess Peach (shock).

 

30. Nintendogs; Labrador And Friends-DS

Don’t you judge me!. This game was so relaxing as you used the DS stylus to pet your pups, feed, groom and play with them. If you don’t play it for a few days and go back to it then the dog is dirty and needs cleaned which is a cool if horrifying feature considering I haven’t played in years now……..oh god!.

 

29. Kirby: Canvas Curse-DS

Look at his little angry face! What a cute little pink cloud of destruction. Three in a row for the DS and one that brings back one of Nintendo’s mascots for use of the consoles stylus gimmick. You use the stylus exclusively and maneuver the little puff ball around and avoid enemies and obstacles by tapping at the screen which is a neat wee change of pace from typical Kirby games. 

 

28. Timesplitters: Future Perfect-Playstation 2

The third entry into the sci fi shooter series is a cracker that sees you traveling to the past in order to save the future. This one has a level in Scotland which is awesome as you storm a castle and then the plot takes you all over the world at varying times.

 

27. X-Men Legnds: Rise Of Apocalypse-Playstation 2

The sequel to X-Men legends adds more powers, more characters and a better plot that sees the antagonist trying to bring about the age of Apocalypse which any comic readers will know is a baaaaad thing. I know what you’re thinking and yes my boy Gambit is playable thanks for your concern.

 

26. The Punisher-Playstation 2

Also seen in my top comic book games list, this third person shooter is suitably violent and nihilistic. Based on the movie that was out around the same time, it actually deviates a lot from the plot and isn’t tightly connecting to it. It does have Tom Jane providing the voice of Frank and it takes a lot of inspiration from the early Garth Ennis run in the comics. It’s great fun and the interrogation scenes are a nice touch that fit the character well. Appearances from the likes of Daredevil, Kingpin, Iron Man and more is a nice touch.

 

25. The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction-Playstation 2

Another Marvel game and one in which your objective is to smash shit up bruh!. Taking on the role of the Jade Giant and just leveling cities is so much fun. It’s an open world you get explore and just tear through building on your rampage and in all honest it’s more fun to just wander around causing untold amounts of chaos than taking on the plot which is pretty meh.

 

 

24. Haunting Ground-Playstation 2

A completely under the radar and woefully underappreciated psycho sexual horror that, like many survival horror games is not without it’s many flaws but tells a gripping and disturbing story. It’s one of those games that critics are going to look at and pan because it’s mechanics are clunky and awkward but fans of the genre really appreciate the storytelling, atmosphere and twisted themes. Waking up in a dog cage is one of the more interesting openings to a game too.

 

23. Mario Kart Arcade GP: Arcade

I had no idea this game existed until a few years ago when I took a holiday to Tokyo and saw it in an arcade there. My ex and I played it loads and had an absolute blast. We were fans of the series anyway but none of us had ever seen it in an arcade before….probably because they barely exist here now sadly. Anyway it’s a fun sit down arcade cabinet with a wheel with that classic Mario Kart action.

 

22. Ultimate Spider-Man-Playstation 2

Another Marvel game and a very stylish one based on the Ultimate Spider-Man series by Brian Michael Bendis which was fantastic. You play as Spidey and Venom in a cel-shaded world in a free roaming beat em up fighting bosses like Electro, Carnage, Rhino and more. I loved the visual style of the game. 

 

21. The House Of The Dead 4-Arcade

More splatterpunk, zombie mashing light gun action from Sega. Not much more to say about this series any more other than it’s really good fun and has a brilliantly lame B movie style with awful voice acting and simple, entertaining plots. Popping a zombies head clean off it’s shoulders with a light gun never gets old.

 

20. Jade Empire-Xbox

I can’t believe this game doesn’t get talked about more and there isn’t an online campaign of any significance to get this franchise up and running again. A Bioware rpg that takes on far eastern history, kung fu movies and gives you choices of what kind of person you want to be as you progress through the story. I loved this one and I’m a big fan of Bioware as a developer.

 

19. Killer7-Playstation 2

This is the game that introduced infamous developer Suda 51 and his Grasshopper Studios to the western world. All his trademarks are here….insanely stylish visuals, nonsensical but somehow engrossing plot and of course conversation between critics, some of whom love it and others who hate it. Suda51 is so divisive and this game is no different with a plot involving 7 assassins who are physical manifestations of one guy’s mind or some such nonsense but man it’s fun to play and I got a kick out of it for sure. 

 

 

18. Kingdom Hearts 2-Playstation 2

The sequel to the insanely popular rpg that mixed Square characters with Disney mainstays. The combat is much improved and the worlds are a little better realised while the story is as convoluted as ever but still thoroughly enjoyable. It looks great and hanging out with Goofy and Donald etc never gets old. We get Lion King characters, Scrooge McDuck is in there, Squall and Cloud from Final Fantasy are in there and loads more who make cameos or are properly involved in the main plot. This series has a rabid fanbase and it’s easy to see why.

 

17. Capcom Classics Collection-Playstation 2

Considering how much I played this collection it should probably be higher but I don’t like putting collections on the list as it’s just games that should go on the lists themselves. That said, a lot of these games are from the 80s and I haven’t done a list covering the 80s yet so here we are. Plus it contains my favourite game of all time in Final Fight so I couldn’t leave it off the list. If I get around to doing the 80s I’ll explain why I have such love for that game and can’t let go of the memories it brings back. Other games in this collection include Bionic Commando, Ghouls ‘N Ghosts, 3 versions of Street Fighter 2 and much more.

 

16. Dead Or Alive 4-Xbox 360

Wow I completely forgot that the 360 came out as early as 2005. Incredible….and DOA 4 was a launch title exclusive. It’s a smooth, well animated, over the top fighting game that fits into the series well and was probably the best one at this point….it may still be, I still can’t make my mind up on that.

 

15. Fire Pro Wrestling Returns-Playstation 2

This series has a large cult following and is loved for it’s deep gameplay and massive amounts of customization available. It’s one of those games that people who are good at customizing get so much out of and create all sorts of characters, rings, arenas, matches etc. Unfortunately I suck at all that stuff so I either download other people’s work or play these kinds of games on their face value. Either way it’s loads of fun.

 

14. Samurai Shodown VI-Playstation 2

The first entry in this series on the list for a wee while and one that takes SS back on form. There’s a massive cast of characters to choose from and different styles of fighting to compete with. The fighting is smooth, the art is gorgeous and the difficulty is fair.

 

13. Psychonauts-Playstation 2

Directed by Tim Schafer, this little slice of genius is one of the most artistically beautiful and inventive world space ever created in gaming. The game’s levels take place inside the minds of certain characters as you navigate their imagination and try to get to the bottom of their fears and issues and help them. Like with many of these original, brilliantly though out games it didn’t sell well and sadly only managed to find a cult audience. It deserved so much better.

 

12. Sly 3: Honour Among Thieves-Playstation 2

Sly and his band of thieves consisting of Bentley the intelligent turtle and Murray the dumb but strong hippo. This entry into the excellent series has more in common with part two than the original with a less linear and more open world. The visuals are stunning and the sound design is excellent, evoking that film noir style but in a playful and cartoony way. Wonderfully realised characters and a fun story make for probably the best game in the original trilogy….maybe….just.

 

11. Condemned: Criminal Origins-Xbox 360

A Sega published game that is very un-Sega like in the sense that it’s a disturbing, psychological horror developed by Monolith Productions. It’s a first person game with a bit of a difference in the sense that the combat is heavily melee focused. There are some fantastic and scary set pieces too, most famously photographing the fella in the locker. Very atmospheric with a good procedural detective vibe mixed with horror.

 

10. The Warriors-Playstation 2

I am a massive fan of the 1979 Walter Hill movie for several reasons, one of which being any time it was on tv (which was a surprising amount) my dad would let me stay up late to watch it with him. It was one of our bonding movies so when it was announced that Rockstar were going to be making a game that acts as a prequel that also goes into the events of the movie I was beyond hyped. I wasn’t let down as it ended up being a beat em up with a cool story, it brought back the surviving actors to voice their characters and it took me back to being a kid who was obsessed with the movie. CAN YOU DIG IT?!.

 

9. God Of War-Playstation 2

The game that introduced us to Kratos the spartan, a servant of the ancient Greek gods who was tricked into murdering his own family by Ares the god of war. Athena sets him on his way to get revenge. It’s a great story with loads of great puzzles and brilliant hack and slash action. Super violent and a great mix of styles make for an incredibly exciting, epic and brutal game. The thunderous score adds the the epic Greek mythology plotline.

 

8. Soulcalibur 3-Playstation 2

One of the greatest fighting series ever is back with one of the best entries into the series. A good roster including usuals like Mitsurugi the samurai, Voldo the bondage loving creep, Astaroth the giant golem while introducing new characters like Amy, Zasasamel and Night Terror. There are new single player modes and the fighting is as smooth as ever. A fantastic fighting game.

 

7. Devil May Cry 3: Dante’s Awakening-Playstation 2

After most people were incredibly disappointed with DMC 2 there was a lot of pressure on the third entry to deliver the goods. Well it did so in spades and it’s mostly considered to be the best game of the trilogy by a distance. Ultra stylish, funny, great pounding industrial metal music and a great flashy battle system make it an awesomely entertaining hack and slash, demon slaying adventure. Dante is bang on form here with one of the greatest opening cut scenes of all time. 

 

6. Shadow Of The Colossus-Playstation 2

One of those “games can be art” games that people seem to be able read so much into. A spiritual successor to Ico developed by Team Ico, it sees you traveling on a horse through mostly lifeless landscape hunting down sixteen colossus in order to defeat them and save a girl he is close to. It’s never revealed what the relationship is, there are no characters in the game to converse with, there are no dungeons, sidequests or minor enemies…..only the colossus. You become close with your horse as you spend so much time riding through this beautiful world just the two of you and it’s just weird how it connect you to it’s story and world. I can fully understand people not getting or liking it but it completely sucked me in and the final twist is an all time classic that destroys your soul.

 

5. F.E.A.R-PC

First Encounter Assault Recon….a clumsy anagram for an excellent game. My buddy Rick will be laughing at this being so high because he can never understand why I’m not an fps fan but absolutely love this. “It’s just a decent fps, that’s all”….well Rick to me it’s more. The horror themes just hooked me like no fps before it had. Alma is a fantastic and sympathetic antagonist but also an absolutely terrifying one. Clearly influenced by the J-horror trend it’s all long haored girls in gowns and psychological torture as things appear and disappear, messing with your mind. I love it.

 

4. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney-DS

The brilliant Ace Attorney series actually started in 2001 on the GBA but it really found it’s home on the DS as the stylus and double screen really helped the visual novel style of gameplay. You play a plucky but inexperienced rookie lawyer and try to get your defendants to be be declared not guilty in court. Throughout the game you meet and converse with various characters like your boss, you r secretary, you rivals and more. These characters are well written and fun which makes it a so much fun to play through. Closely watching a court case unfold as you look for holes in your opposition’s story is such a cool and unique touch and it’s all so well drawn and ugh I could go on and on it’s a great game and a great series. …and people my age will the remember the OBJECTION memes back when memes weren’t called memes. 

 

3. Project Zero 3: The Tormented-Playstation 2

Grab your camera obscura because shit is about to go down. If you follow this column then you know I adore this series and the third entry is a very solid one that changes things up a little bit by having a night and day cycle. During the days it’s mainly safe and you wander around talking to people whereas at night time you go to sleep and enter a dreamscape where all the ghosty shenanigans happen. Those ghosty shenanigans are terrifying too, possibly the scariest of the series up to this point despite the story not being as good as part two. It’s still great and it was nice to see them try something new. A wonderful series that hardcore horror fans should seriously appreciate. There are very few games that match this series’ atmosphere.

 

2. Yakuza-Playstation 2

I remember in late 2006 I was wandering through HMV and spotted the cover of this game which had just come out over here. As I’ve said a few times I wasn’t really keeping up with gaming at the time and a lot of the entries to this list I played later on down the line. I love yakuza movies and media so I thought….why not? it seems like a kind of Shenmue type of game. That seems like madness now, I would never buy a game without looking into it a little bit or knowing nothing about it. It paid off though and over a decade later I’ve just pre-ordered the new entry into the series after playing and finishing every entry that has been released in the west. I’ve been harping on about it since 2006 and trying to get people invested in the series so I’m so happy it’s finally getting it’s due these days.

 

1. Resident Evil 4-Playstation 2

Bloody love that cover art. Ok so the fourth main entry into the influential and frankly brilliant Resident Evil series in here and it’s one of the best action games of all time. Notice I said action and not horror?. Well sadly this is where the series took a turn away from atmospheric survival horror and into the realm of balls out action with horror themes. Now having said that, this game perfectly nails the balance of genres and if they had gone back to survival horror after this entry it would be blamed as much for derailing the series. Ah well judging the game by it’s merits it’s almost impossible to pick apart as it does so many things right. The over the shoulder camera, whilst sometimes frustrating became a staple of third person action games and the ability to take enemies out at the knees and suplex them onto their heads never gets old. You play Leon Kennedy again who has moved up in the world since Resi two and is now sent on a mission to save the president’s daughter who is caught up in a mad conspiracy with all the usual virus shenanigans. Ada Wong is back and mysterious ever and I’m talking way too much…..I like to keep these short after all but hey ho I love this game so I’m blethering on about it.

 

Another list down and we’re half way through the decade. Join me back here as we stray into the latter half of the 00s and get me @swing_kinker until then ta x.

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